I alluded to this in my last post, but I’ve started using initials to talk about the people important to me. There are a few reasons I don’t want to use actual names. A big part of it is to protect myself, so that I am less identifiable. Say what you want about workplace protections, but I’m untenured and non-binary. I’m going to watch my back.

And given that I’m in a poly relationship place, I want to protect them as well. K and I have been together for more than two years; she is a wonderful, positive person, and she and I plan to start a family. Our relationship started poly in the midst of my now-defunct marriage. J and I met much more recently, and we have something really great developing. She has a tremendous family, too, and I know I’ll be seeking her guidance as K and I start ours—in addition to all of the other joy and conversation from our relationship.

L and I used to date, my first real poly situation. I will always have strong feelings for her and I desperately want her to be happy. She’s also the one person from my old life that has come to visit me in my new one.

I’ll be adding others, too, and not just ones from near the middle of the alphabet. Friends, colleagues, etc. and the like. But I think a big part of talking about identity is in the relationships we build around us. Because that is so much a fundamental part of who we are as people, the way we give and receive and interact with others.

These people are central to my life.