I have to start planning. No, not because I have to get my medical stuff with my gender identity figure out. It’s because I compulsively plan out things like this for my future. So I have to start planning.

My goal is to remove as many of my secondary sex characteristics as possible. I don’t want facial hair: it literally doesn’t belong on me. The same goes with a lot of my body hair (on my chest and back in particular). I want to know what is involved in starting to get rid of that. Am I just going to be taking testosterone inhibitors, or estrogen as well? Or is it start with one and then add the other?

This means I need to go see a doctor, something that’s right up there with being a beekeeper on my list of things I enjoy doing (I’m deathly afraid of bees, wasps, and hornets). But this is something I want to do, need to do, I think, so it’s time to start the conversations.

I think that means starting with my general practitioner, getting her take on things. I highly doubt this is an area were she has much experience, so I think it will be a referral to someone else. By the end of the summer, I would like to have seen that referral person and have some kind of potential plan for the next couple of years formulated.

Complicated stuff, really. The uncertainty unnerves me quite a bit, especially with how I would look and would have to act in public. But, on the other hand, having a plan at least reduces some uncertainty, puts steps into place. Then I can see if I can walk up each one as I go.