I’ve spent the last week being unsure about where I should go with being femme. I’m close to a lock for doing hormone suppressants (again, nothing is decided now, so that can change), and I’m leaning towards estrogen. I’m not sold on surgery.

But I caught a glimpse of myself in a window today while out and about. I liked how I looked.

Background: I wasn’t teaching today, so I went rather femme in my appearance. I took my time with my eyeshadow, I wore a nice blouse from Old Navy—flower pattern, quite femme—some denim capris, and my sparkly sandals. I kind of went for it.

It went fine at work—people just assume I’m weird and it was fine. We had a bunch of phone interviews for two positions in my department. It was tiring. Which meant I wanted pizza after work. I went there, where I was treated normally, like normal. That’s where I saw my reflection.

I looked good. I looked like a woman, and I was happy about that.

Which means I’m not really unsure about being unsure. I think this is what I want to do. I think this is who I want to become.